This is a sponsored post.
Dating is complicated enough. Let’s throw a chronic illness (or 2) in there! That makes things more fun, right? Not! As a person with multiple chronic illnesses, I can tell you from first-hand experience that spoonie dating is NOT easy.
Dating with an autoimmune disease or any other type of chronic condition can really mess with your confidence. Maybe you use a mobility device and it makes you feel self-conscious. Perhaps brain fog rears its ugly head in the middle of everyday conversations. It could be that your anxiety keeps you indoors most of the time.
Whatever the case, physical or mental, anything deemed “different” by society’s standards can make you want to crawl away and hide just to avoid the unwanted stares, questions, and misunderstandings that come along with it.
The Other Shoe
It’s the first date. You’re enjoying a pleasant conversation over coffee when he asks that dreaded question, “So, what do you do?”
If you’re on disability, what do you say? “Um…I’m disabled.” “I’m between jobs right now.” “I dabble.”
If she smiles and asks if you’d like to go out for Chinese food sometime, how do you politely bring up that MSG and gluten turn your bowels inside out?
There’s always the other shoe. Chronic illness takes up every single facet of our lives, and there’s no getting around it. So, sooner or later, the truth will out.
Probably one of the most annoying and disheartening aspects of dating with a chronic illness is the unpredictability. You agree to a date only having to cancel at the last minute due to a flare. No matter how many times you explain yourself, you know the other person feels rejected and is getting the wrong idea even if they say they understand.
Feeling Like a Burden
Feeling like a burden with a chronic illness is incredibly common. Many people wonder, “Who would want someone like me?” You’re not alone. I felt the same way for a very long time. Will the person you’re dating eventually become your partner in life or your caregiver? This is a very real fear many spoonies have to endure.
My Last Dating Experience Taught Me a Lot
I’m on the autism spectrum, so you want to talk awkward? Whew! I could get an award for it! My last dating experience didn’t go very well. We met on an online dating site, really clicked, got together for a few dates, and, by degrees, I told her about the conditions I dealt with (one condition per date).
She seemed so “cool” with everything that I found myself relaxing and trusting her. Plus, by the 5th date, I was done. I had no more skeletons left in the closet, so I was excited to begin focusing on the good parts of the developing relationship.
Unfortunately, it was right after that date that she said we shouldn’t see each other anymore because I’m “too focused on my past trauma” and the problems I face. I wasn’t expecting that, and I was really hurt.
But she did teach me something very valuable. I rip the Band-Aid off before the first date now. I don’t slowly ease people into my challenges. I tell them while we’re chatting online. They disappear? Oh, well. Next!
The Lemonayde Dating App – A Dating App for People With Health Challenges
“Dating with health challenges just got easier!”
That’s the slogan for this new dating app called Lemonayde, and I love it. Imagine not having to spend the first few dates explaining your chronic illness, easing into it, talking around it, avoiding it, etc. Imagine being able to be completely transparent about your conditions because the person you’re interested in lives with chronic illness, too!
Doesn’t that make you just want to breathe a sigh of relief!?
It definitely does me. I only found out about the Lemonayde dating app a few weeks ago when I saw a link to it on another chronic illness blogger’s post. I was intrigued. Wait. A dating app for people with chronic illness? No! Really? Yup. It exists.
I was so excited that I immediately downloaded the app on my phone (even though I barely have any room on the thing as it is), contacted the creator on Instagram, and asked how I could help market this incredible invention.
And here we are!
So, the pro of the Lemonayde dating app is simple: You’ll be matched with people who struggle with health challenges, and that sticky, icky part of the conversation will be done and over with before you can exchange phone numbers.
The only con I found is that there aren’t a lot of people on there yet. BUT…and I strongly suggest this…if you are single, make a profile. It takes less than 2 minutes. You don’t have to give out your health information if you don’t want to, and you’ll be helping this amazing app grow into a first-rate meeting place for people with chronic illness.
Single? Living with a chronic illness? Do it! Be part of the revolution, and take the plunge today.