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Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

By March 27, 2012 August 25th, 2018 Children & Parenting

In my opinion, children really are the “Greatest Love of All“. They are our future and each and every one of them deserves a fair chance at a happy life. The behavioral problems I struggled with as a child made confused and frustrated adults snap at me, mock me, ridicule me, hit me or simply not believe me.

As an adult who has discovered I have many of the symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome I can tell you that though I understand my behavior better now, the pain of being rejected and abused never goes away. A child who is verbally, physically or sexually abused usually develops PTSD and has difficulty functioning as an adult.

Below is a  wonderful quote by Dr. Dorothy Law Nolte that sums up the truth about how children learn what they live. If you have a child with behavioral problems, resist the urge to strike out at them verbally or physically or to reject them or tell them they’re “making it up for attention”.

There is help out there. At the end of this quote I present a book I’ve read myself that offers simple, practical tips on how to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child even if he or she has behavioral problems. This book can help you get to the source of those problems and you’ll see a change in your son or daughter you never thought was possible.

Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.


If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.


If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.


If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.


If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Democratic Parenting

This is an incredible resource for parents. I wish my caregivers had had something like this when I was a child. I believe it would have made all the difference even if my Asperger’s symptoms were not yet discovered.

If you’re dealing with a child with behavioral problems, I encourage you to read this book. Take it from a woman who has been this child and still struggles now because of it. I know what your son or daughter is going through and can sympathize with what you are going through.

Download This Book Today!

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